Is this my real dream??

I'hv been struggling for a long long time, keep wondering myself that becoming a doctor is it exactly what i want?

2 years ago, i made my decision, I'hv to make my dream come true. So i tried so hard to gain the best result that i could, participated as much competitions as I could to show that I'hv the abilities to enter the medical school. n cool, i gained a good (as far i could call it as 'good') result.

And the good news sent it to my mailbox last July, telling me that I'hv been admitted to the best medical school in China. ya, China. Lots of people asked me that why don't I go to NTU or National Singapore University? I got Scholarship, didnt I?? Yup, I gained the scholarship, but the course isn't i wanted most of all. Bioengineering, Pharmacy, ya, they are cool, but not to me.

Shanghai is cool place. An international big city. And everything's expensive here. LOL.

I'hv learned a lot, the communication skills, cooking abilities, and of course the medical things, but it is not that much as i imagined before. As i knew, medical school student should be very very busy, n lacks of sleeping time, but everything here surprises me. We hv enough sleeping time, and not that busy, even the life here makes me feel bored. Holy, i wondered that m i really in a med school? The requirements here are low.

In this year, i participated some lecture whether i could understand it or not, i met some professors who are famous in Harvard, dean of medical school or someone else. Except the concepts or ideas, they keep telling us that 'Just follow your dream, what do you really want to do', we all know that, but how many of us really know what our dream is?

We are in Med School after all, so I do feel quite strongly that students who study in med school should have at least a quite high standard of basic medical knowledge and thirst of knowledge instead of just throwing out empty questions and keep asking for tips. I hv to admit that those TIPS are really really helpful and they reduce lots of pressure but do you guys ever think it before?? We are going to face the darkest society n do our career, being thirst of knowledge is it best way to survive in this world?? 

We have been isolating from local students since we entered this school, i don't agree that it is a good way to help us get used to education system here or perhaps isolation just makes it worse.

No pain, no gain. 

I had a dream last night, i became a doctor. I was curing someone. it made me feel real. 

but when woke up, i wondered if i keep doing my life like this, could i be a successful doctor?

Should I be more active in my career?? 

I m healthy, i hv no colour-blindness as well, i hv abilities to my life better, why don't I just make it cool??

Life goes on, it is my decision to make it colourful or just black and white.

turn around and look at others, i should be grateful that i own something people don't.

Gain a degree of medicine, becoming a doctor, 或许不是梦, but i just put more effort to make it real...